I started by picking mountains of plums from the tree:
I rinsed (some of ) the plums in white vinegar and water:
I cut them up (not very well), removed the seeds and added some sugar:
Finally I cooked it on the stove until the mixture was satisfactorily gluggy:
Kym put the jam in jars (the boiling water, glass and tongs thing is all a little too much for me):
Then we cleaned up... at which point the song changed slightly to "Jammy-jam, jammy-jammy-effing-jam-jam, effing jam-jam..."